I would like to talk now about long-term effects of sexual abuse. Time does not cure the effects of incest even if the memories go underground. The consequences of the abuse remain and flourish. Sometimes they are buried under other problems, substance abuse, relentless rage, self-destructive behavior, but they remain waiting. Waiting for the clarity, that sobriety will bring. Waiting for release from their confusion and phobias. Waiting for the lifting of their depression. Waiting for an opening that will only come through therapy or intimacy. They may also erupt on their own and untreated this can lead to suicide and murder.

The following poem that I wrote articulates the attraction of committing suicide, it is called:

“Aborted Attempt”

This bathtub
White
Part of surroundings
In her every day’s life
Bathtub
So white
Like seeing it
For the first time
The water
Luke warm
Recollection
Mother’s womb
Drops dribbling
Ripples
On this smooth, scented
Surface
Red painted toes
Sticking out
Perception of volume, depth
Color of blood…..
Why ending her life?
Let go now
In this bathroom
Ridiculously small
Two coarse taps, badly lined up
Made of unknown substance
Defying her…
Ugly but useful
Thinking
I just have to…
Immersing herself
In the slow warmth
Tropical scent floating
She enters a perceptual state
Dozing having a portentous dream
Begins semi-conscious dialogue
“Why dying now?”
Has life something else to offer?
“Easy just do it move on”
Murmurs a vicious voice….
Her internal scenery becomes crystal clear
She can move her eyes
Without dispelling her vision
Deja vu…
Buzzing sound
A bee maybe drowning
An urge to wake up
Save her
She sits up, self perfect state
Bee in the air
“I am your leader, I guided you, my sound was enough”
it whispers
so
happy to be alive?
May be so she answers

These after effects are like continuing victimization for the survivor or people around. In short, incest kills, not all at once, not totally, but one way or another eventually piece by piece. It is criminal because children should be loved and nothing should be taken from them. They need to be safe. The child victim of incest has none of this. They do not have any childhood. The child is forced to choose between violation, violence, and abandonment. The child was a victim, but as an adult is a survivor. The survivor is not the wrongdoer.

After a childhood of horror they have kept on hoping having survived that they can begin again. They can try to have a quality of life that they deserve; they can take their power back and learn to be angry at what has been done to them, instead of being angry with themselves. They can attempt to accept a life that is not confused and out of control. Then when they have to confront their past and acclaim themselves, they will survive and triumph.

I have written and co-produced a short film that is part of this paper. The story is about an 8-year-old little girl embedded with leftover memories of sexual abuse. These visual effects are stunningly powerful and add some truth to the story. This is a haunting subject and so many people in this world are unfortunately sexually abused and do not have the possibility, the opportunity to talk about it or even be conscious of what really happened to them. I am going to talk about memories later on.

There are statistics and research that has been done on what people remember, what they want to remember, and what they ignore. Sexual abuse has existed since the beginning of time. It has always been there, lurking, hidden and sometimes it has been exposed, condemned or not accepted. We deal with it or we do not. It is a constant in our world. It is in all countries, like a permanent cancer being reborn over and over. The abused become the abusers to the next generation. After all they survived it, so why should they not perpetuate it on others. It happened to them, so why should it not happen to others.

That is why we need education. Ignorance and denial has to be destroyed. It is important to understand that sexual abuse is not even about sexuality per se; it is about the annihilation of the soul of another human being while taking an obsessive-compulsive fake pleasure on innocent victims. It is a disease: this disease lasts a lifetime for any human being affected by it. Even if it is controlled and monitored, it cannot go away. Terrible soul murderers murder the soul of the abused child.

The following is a poem that I wrote about these soul murderers and a child whose soul they murdered. It is called:

“ONLY A SOUL KNOWS THE KILLER”

Yes, she was there
Silent, invisible witness
In that room alone
Through the window
She saw the crime
Paralytic mute
Once a beautiful girl
Now a mysterious unique soul
Who at the witness stand
Let everyone read the truth
In the limitless depth of her eyes.

Therapy can be an enormous help especially for victims of child abuse and who want the help to get better and to enjoy life.